A birthday post three days too late.

Dear Friend,

I got over 1000 views recently! I can't quite believe it. But I did. And that's exciting news and therefore I decided to write this. I haven't been posting lately because I've been very busy. I'm sorry if you're sorry. If you couldn't care less, then yay it doesn't matter, then! :) But this post is going to be special and long not only because of the 1000+ views and the absence, but also because... *drumroll* *wait never mind don't* It’s my birthday. I don’t feel any different. But now, I’m officially a teenager. I don’t think that’s something that should be celebrated, but if I get presents, then who am I to complain? Haha. I’m adjusting to Indonesian life. With every day, I get less sad. I’m not going to say happier because though I smile and stuff I still don’t feel much joy. However I do love my schoolmates. This is how I’d describe them; my juniors/7^th graders: really nice and good conversationalists. Fellow 8^th graders: slightly girly and ‘weird’ (in a good way!!!!) that is different from my ‘weird’. Does that make sense? No? Okay. They’re slightly shallow, but not mean. Kind of gossipy. But really nice and I would be lying if I said I don't like them because they're fun. My seniors/9^th graders: uber cool people. They talk about anything. Reminds me of my Singapore friends, really.

One of my seniors is a Beatles fan. Big Beatles fan. She’s the coolest. Haha that sounds so lame. But she is. Her mum used to sing Hey Jude to her when she was 5. I think that’s an awesome thing for a mum to do. The family’s into all the old and vintage bands. Which is great. And once I get my guitar, which is in two weeks, we’re gunna jam to The Beatles. And Ed Sheeran. And One Direction. Yes, she’s a Beatles fan but she also is a Directioner. And likes Ed Sheeran. I never thought I’d actually meet Indonesians who get my music taste even more than my Singapore friends. But I did. And that’s indescribably amazing. 

I got a lot of nice presents. I'd post pictures but I don't feel like it and it's too troublesome. So I'll just describe them. On second thoughts, that's even more troublesome. Never mind. So... I'm supposed to get a guitar. My very first. And I'd thought I was going to get it today, but apparently I'll have to wait till the end of next week to get it, after the exams. Yes, you read right. My birthday is on an actual exam day. It sucks but at the same time it's okay because everyone keeps going up to me and wishing me a happy birthday. My twitter mentions were blowing up and I feel so loved. I am kind of sad though, because some of the most important people in my life didn't remember. But honestly, who am I to complain? I myself have the memory span of a goldfish. Still sad though. Oh, and as predicted, I ended up crying. I wasn't crying over how some people didn't wish me happy birthday, that's ridiculous. 

I was crying because people do not understand me, most of all my parents. Get this; my mum thinks me wanting to sing all the time as my job is just a passing phase. Once she said that, I put on my favourite song, Boston by Augustana, and I cried and cried. That was in the car. I cried quietly. You might think it's pathetic but the thing is, I know for sure that singing is my biggest passion and I really really want to make it as a professional artiste. Then, at about 9pm, I started crying again. That time a full-out emotional breakdown. I crouched on the bed and wailed. You might know I'm a directioner, a fan of One Direction (please don't judge). And like I said before, singing and music is my everything. Not to mention songwriting, which is why I want my guitar. Anyway, you might know about the Bring Me To 1D contest? Otherwise known as the Go1Den Ticket contest? It's when directioners worldwide can compete and one from each selected country can go to NYC, spend a day with the boys of One Direction, and watch them at Madison Square Garden. 4th December being one of the days spent there. Which is my birthday. You have absolutely no idea how much I wanted that. Madison Square Garden. Is the place of my biggest dreams. To be able to be inside MSG would be more than a dream come true. Anyway, I couldn't even try out. I have an Indonesian passport, but I was in Singapore and when I actually came back to Indonesia, the contest was almost over. So that contributed to the big emotional breakdown. That breakdown lasted for one and a half hours. And that's not a lie. Mum told me. I was also sobbing because my happy childhood memories, times when my parents were mad at me and all sorts of past happy and sad memories came rushing at me and to top it all off, Ed Sheeran and Augustana and soulful artistes were playing on my CD player, so that got the waterworks going.

Boston

Sunburn

But enough with all this sad talk. I forgot to mention the presents. I will be getting that guitar, but now what I already got are; 

• a pair of orange jeggings from Uniqlo (they're really cute)
• a shirt that says "Love Me Or Leave Me In London" which I thought was perfect and matched the jeggings
• skeleton band aids that I will never use because they are way too cute to waste on cuts and bruises.
• a cute slouchy bag with "positive" words all over it
• a purple kind of boring diary but thanks :)
• a really really good book: "Between The Lines" by Jodi Picoult and (her 15 year old daughter!) Samantha Van Leer
• aaannndddd... that's about it. Oh, and some empe empe when grocery shopping. I don't know how to spell but it's an Indonesian snack that's yummy and (you guessed it) unhealthy. I'm always either eating super healthy wholemeal stuff, or gorging on oily fatty food. Never mind. Live Eat while I'm young. Before all the calories start kicking in. And yes we went grocery shopping on my birthday.
• I got some Haagen Dazs too though. Vanilla. They didn't have Ben&Jerry's, so Haagen Dazs. 

Birthdays are very emotional. But not so eventful. As we get older, the less birthdays seem to matter to everybody. I find that very sad. Birthdays should be the one day when everyone just forget everything and spend the day being happy with their favourite people at their favourite location. I had to cross that out because I can't do that. Not until I get enough money to go to England. Anyway. I remember when I turned 3 years old, all my relatives came and we had a simple party with a cake, lots of candles, and lots of children. It was fun because I was very close to my relatives and when they were there to celebrate my birthday, I was happy. The other kids blew out the candles with me, opened the presents for me, blew those party trumpet thingies in the babies' faces, and lots of other fun stuff that I wish I could still do. I have the photos of that memorable day tucked between the pages of my notebook. 

Oh and just a little bit more to say. My crush wished me a happy birthday and sent me a virtual wink. That's a really good thing in case you were wondering. I'm just not going to bring attention to this part of this post in case someone who shouldn't read this reads this. But yes that got me over the moon. The joys of being a teenager. Sigh. 

I know this post was pretty long, and I know it's sooooo long overdue but I get home at 6/7pm everyday from school, and it's the exams. My days are busy enough. It took two days to write this post. Sad huh. Some parts are written in present tense, because I actually wrote those parts on December 4 2012, but the other parts were written on December 5th. So technically, English-wise, grammar-wise, this is a rubbish post. But thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you guys so much for getting me over 1000 views! I'm quite happy. I'm overusing the word "happy" aren't I. Yes, I am. Never mind. It's just big news, you see. 1000+ views!!! :'D Made my birthday better, it did. Yoda talk yay. 

And now I shall end this long post with my signature sign-off that I ripped off my favourite book. 

Love always,

Tia xxx

P.S. If you're from Singapore and you're a friend of mine, hi. I miss you. And hi again, you probably were one of those who forgot about my birthday but hey it's okay. Just forget it. But it would be greatly appreciated if you were to comment a 'happy birthday' below. ;) *suggestion*

P.P.S. If you're from my current school and you're reading this, WOW you stuck out the horrible English that you probably didn't understand till the end! I'm starting to love all of you. Oh, and I'm going to fail BI. Shout out to Atika, Rumi, and Kalam for not complaining for having me in their group because I suck at BI and you should be complaining but you're not so thanks. Love all you #eightafros. Oh wow. A hashtag on Blogger. So lame. But yes, thanks for welcoming me as the 'new student'. xx

Here's a song that I can really relate to. I don't know how I went from being a crazy, loud chatterbox to being an introverted wallflower but I did.

Indonesia- There goes the rooster! AGAIN.

Dear Friend,

Yesterday was like a dream. Not necessarily a good dream, but nor was it a bad dream. Just a dream. Today too. Yesterday, two very lovely friends of mine- Keerti and Sheryl, came to send me off at the airport. Keerti's dad, along with me, expected me to cry at the airport. I didn't shed a tear. It just didn't feel like I was leaving for good. It didn't feel like that was the last time (at least, somewhat the last time) being in Changi Airport. Even on the plane, I didn't cry. They had really good food. And I watched Step Up Revolution. A bit of it. Because it was only an hour's flight. Only when we were waiting for the luggage to come (mind you, the conveyor belt in Soekarno-Hatta Airport takes quite a bit of time), did I start reminiscing Singapore and there, in the crowd of other passangers, did I start crying. Bit embarrassing, but it felt good to let it all out. So, yesterday, after arriving in Indonesia, I was a bundle of tears up until I fell asleep to the sounds of a random Indonesian jazz band.

Mornings in Indonesia are lovely. Nice and breezy, and- there goes the rooster. Should be the 16th time it's cuckoo'ed today. Crazy rooster. But it feels great to listen to roosters instead of honking cars. I'm staying in my gramma's house in Indonesia, until my family can find and buy a new house. Gramma's house is in the neighbourhood, and it's pretty calm and old and VERY VERY VERY VERY hot. But I guess I ought to get used to it. Dad said we won't have too much air con here. I really miss my friends back in Singapore, even the school(s).

Did I mention, school starts tomorrow? Yeah. While my Singapore friends get several months' break (that I too deserve), I'll be starting at a new school in Indonesia. Only a day after I move. Ugh. A couple months ago, I went to be tested to get into the school, and I got through, simply because I'm secretly a genius. It's a very very religious school, and there are three different uniforms on different days. Monday; a white long sleeved thick material shirt with a blue pinafore that goes down to the toes. And long tights are encouraged to be worn underneath. WTF. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday; even worse; a sickly green long sleeved thick material shirt with the same blue pinafore as the Monday one. Tights recommended. I suppose Fridays are best; white long sleeved thick material shirt same as Monday, with long white trousers. Still extremely warm. And for PE, it's an orange (not 100% cotton) long sleeved shirt with long green trousers. And everyday, it's a must to wear the head covering shawl us Muslims wear. So now you should be able to imagine my horror. But the school isn't all that bad. The English is better than the usual local school, since my school is a private one. Lots of religious studies though. I'm not very religious. Hopefully my faith will increase or something like that.

OH MY GOD. A man on a horse just went all clippity clop past the house. COOL. Yeah. And now I'm getting attacked by mosquitoes. Good day, all of you lovelies. I'll be watching Honey Boo Boo now, that show's hilarious. Goodbye!

Love always,
Tia xxx

Just a random wishlist.

Word of the day:

Acquiesce (from the song Acquiesce by that amazing band called Oasis)

Lately, I've been feeling like there's a lot of missing pieces in this big puzzle we call Life. Maybe it's because I'm only 13. Well, it probably is. But still, here are several things I wish for;

♛ an acoustic guitar
♛ a decent mp3 player
♛ decent pocket money
♛ a haircut
♛ Oasis to suddenly make more good music
♛ a book by me, published
♛ an olive colour beanie
♛ several pretty blazers
♛ British/UK-related things
♛ me to speak in a British accent for the rest of my life
♛ Ed Sheeran's '+' album
♛ all Taylor Swift's albums
♛ all All Time Low's albums
♛ Adele's '21' album

☠ a record deal

☠ someone to unconditionally love me no matter what and to actually show it

☠ people who don't know me in real life, but understands who I am more than anybody else who actually do

☠ a best friend on Wattpad

☠ a chance to  go to England, or even LIVE there

☠ people to actually read my blog

☠ a good time on my birthday, even though it'll be spent in Indonesia, it'll be on a school day, and I'll be the new kid in a religious school

☠ my friends in Singapore to miss me, but to continue to live their lives and have fun

☠ people to enjoy my music

☠ a happy life forever and always

.....But most of all, for

✪ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴏᴘ ʙᴇɪɴɢ sᴏ ɢᴏᴅᴅᴀᴍɴ sᴀᴅ

Love always,
Tia xxx

-15 DAYS TO GO-

Six Degrees Of Depression.

Wish I could go a day without being so depressed. Take away the romance reference, and this song describes everything. Spent the whole day being blamed and getting hurt and crying. In fact, still crying. I thought families were supposed to help you through this, not cause this.